Inna Shukshina

Some time ago I realised how much in my life I had been putting off until later. Everything around me was temporary. A temporary figure (I am waiting until I lose weight), temporary clothes (once I lose weight, then I will buy a beautiful dress!), a temporary job (once I get another 2 university degrees, take 10 trainings and read 30 books, then maybe I will dare to change profession), temporary housing (this is just for a short while, and what comes next is unknown). I even temporarily did not get enough sleep and “temporarily” ate unhealthy things. Thank God my husband and those close to me are not temporary!

Inside me there lived a feeling that all of this was not the real thing, that it all had to be waited out and endured, that I had to wait for some fortunate moment and then everything would suddenly change by itself. I would suddenly get carried away by something, everything around me would start spinning of its own accord, and from this I would immediately become beautiful, healthy and happy. All that was left was to wait for this great event, when a whirlwind of positive change would start up around me all by itself and change my life once and for all.

Maybe I would meet some wonderful person who would tell me the whole truth about myself, give me advice that hit the target exactly, and from that moment everything would be different. Or I would read a special book in which the secret would be revealed to me of how to live here and now and be happy. Never mind that right now everything around is not tidied up as well as it could be, never mind that today in particular I did not take care of my health and did not take a single step towards my calling. Because later, afterwards, when everything is fine, it will all fall into place by itself and be wonderful.

And then I understood that the person stopping me, first and foremost, is myself. Recently I came across a site where people wanted to club together to buy a very high-quality, expensive training with good reviews on the topic of “how to earn more”, and split the cost between them. I was struck by how indignant people were: no, 300 roubles is still very expensive, they did not want to buy at that price, but if we bring it down to 100, then it is worth buying! Then they will all become rich! But if a person wants to become rich, they have to understand that money does not fall from the sky! First you have to invest in yourself, and then, later on, get results.

This is the hardest period, when you are investing a lot and there is still no significant result. It is exactly this that stops many people from ceasing to put life off until later and finally starting to do something.

So what holds us back from starting right now on what we have long dreamed of but kept putting off? What binds us and keeps us in place and does not bring us closer to our goal?

Fear of making a mistake

What if I do something wrong and irreparably ruin my reputation? What if I do someone harm? What if I cause damage, or something bad happens because of me?

The most interesting thing is that people have this fear regardless of their education, talents and achievements.

This fear often keeps genuinely talented and capable but insecure people in the corner and helps less able but also less anxious people move forward, take important posts and build businesses.

Fear of judgement

What will people think of me? What if they think badly and tell everyone about it, and everyone judges me? What if they do not tell everyone but discuss it behind my back, and everyone looks at me sideways. What if they tell no one and even outwardly approve and smile, while actually thinking something unkind.

In reality people are not thinking about you, they are mostly thinking about themselves. Their own toothache is 1000 times more important to them than your mistakes and failures. If a person judges you, it means they have this pain too; perhaps they would also have liked to do something similar but could not or did not dare, and now they resent the fact that you did. And most often the people who hurt us reflect our own fears and say to us exactly what we say to ourselves, even if we do not admit it.

Failure

What distinguishes successful businesspeople is that they are not afraid of failures; each time they get up, draw conclusions and go on. Most people, however, are made by their first failure to give up their idea for good. It is simply an unbearable feeling when you waited and hoped and nothing came of it, or it came out differently from what you expected! You can only take this feeling more calmly by understanding that it is not the end result but merely one of the stages of the path, one of the steps on the staircase. All you need to do is turn the result into a question — how can I do this next time in order to get a different result?

So what has to be done in order finally to dare to begin achieving something truly important to us in our life, to carry out some grand project?

How do you change your life and achieve your goals?

Make a plan for the day, the month and the year

I noticed an amazing thing: if the evening before I write all my tasks down in a notebook, then I get far more done and my mood in the evening is far better! This applies especially to the internet: set aside a limited amount of time for socialising there and do things there according to plan. And much of what is planned for the year, even what seems impossible, comes true in some miraculous way! Provided, of course, that you believe in it and take steps towards the goal.

Begin

The most important thing in a new undertaking is simply to begin. Not to wait until you are perfectly ready or 100% sure of yourself. That will never happen. There will always be not enough knowledge, skill, experience and confidence. But by not beginning, we risk missing something truly important to us in our life.

Keep going

This is a very simple step, but a very important one: keep doing what you are doing despite setbacks. Failure catches up with us if we either do too little or have chosen the wrong strategy. But until we begin, we will not know whether it is the right one! Go forward despite difficulties. Look for those who have already reached a goal similar to ours and learn from them.

Do not put off small things

First of all you need to start small and stop putting off your smallest everyday wishes. Wishes, specifically, and not tasks, of which you can invent an endless number, but they will be invented rather than really necessary for us.

Having thought it all through, I started trying to fulfil small wishes straight away. I want a beautiful dress now — that means now, and not once I have lost weight, and not a size smaller! What am I, not a human being right now? I decided to go for a walk — that means I have to go. The main thing is that the wish comes from the heart and is calm, rather than being a hysterical urge to buy up the whole shop or drop everything and leave for a desert island.

Try tracking even your smallest wishes and carrying them out straight away, without putting them off. I have noticed that the further you put something off, the more impossible, complicated and heavy the task seems. A task that requires just a slight effort of the brain looks simply incredibly labour-intensive. The whole secret is that when we have the desire, we also have the energy to cope with all the obstacles on the way to the goal. But when the desire is gone and only a thought about the unfinished task is lying somewhere on a shelf in our head, that is when it becomes far harder to do it.

Simple steps

As for big projects, at least start gathering information on the question, and the opportunity will turn up later, if you keep the wish in mind and do something towards it. You want to go abroad but do not believe it is possible? Take simple steps towards it: get a passport, research the place you want to go to, talk to people who have already been there, look for economical ways. This applies to everything. Only without putting it off — right now. Let it be the smallest step towards your dream, but it is already a step!

It is such a wonderful feeling when there is no load of unfinished tasks! When you do things straight away and get results. By putting things off, we lose inspiration and the desire to act. Today, try tracking which tasks you are putting off until later, and try doing them straight away. Then the trip to Paris will already be one step closer!

Inna Shukshina

I wrote this article for the site Matrony.ru: http://www.matrony.ru/zavtra-zavtra-ne-segodnya/#ixzz38qaPzqxM